Adoptee to Adoption Social Worker: Caitlin Saylor's Adoption Story

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Me with my three adoptive brothers

My name is Caitlin. I am a South Korean adoptee and the newest adoption social worker at AOW. In honor of the anniversary of my Adoption Day in March, I wanted to share a little bit about my adoption story and what has supported me on my life’s journey, ultimately leading me to a career in adoption social work.

My adoptive family is from a small town in central Wisconsin. After having three biological sons in a row, my parents thought their family was complete and my mom could not have any more biological children. However, several years later, my mom told me she had a dream (my dad sometimes jokes that it was a “nightmare”) about having another baby.

My parents knew several families in the area who were pursuing international adoption and were inspired to take that route to bring another child into the family. After waiting for over three years, they were finally given the news that a baby girl from South Korea was ready for adoption.

 

me with my adoption social worker in South Korea

 

When I was adopted, closed international adoptions from South Korea were common due to the economic struggles and cultural stigma of unwed mothers. My parents received very little information about my history and my adoption records only included a packet of about 20 pages and two pictures. However, my family was excited for me to arrive.

Back in the late 1980s, families had the option to have a military service member care for their child on the plane ride and bring their baby home. On March 8th, 1989, my parents and three brothers impatiently waited for their new baby girl to arrive at MSP, along with a group of other adoptive families. When I finally arrived, they were so excited that they forgot to get the contact information for the military man who cared for me on the long plane ride, and were shocked that I was a much chubbier baby than the tiny child they had a photo of. Nevertheless, I was their baby girl and became a “Saylor.”

 

the day I arrived from south Korea and was united with my adoptive family

 

The education surrounding adoption and identity was not as vast or available as it is today. However, my parents did several things to support me learning about my history. Here are some ideas that I felt were helpful and made me feel supported:

  • Make adoption and biological family history a regular narrative in your child’s life

  • Have a support network of other adoptive families/adoptees

  • Set up play dates/hang outs with other adoptees

  • Attend community cultural events/camps

  • Introduce books/music/media related to your child’s culture/ethnicity and adoption

  • Let your child draw pictures/write letters to their bio family – even if it’s things that can’t be sent if the adoption is closed/semi-closed and they stay in their keepsakes

  • Surround your child with older role models who look like them – for example, one of my favorite memories was watching a Korean adoptee win the Miss Wisconsin Rapids pageant!

  • Volunteer at your child’s school to read a book to the class about adoption

  • Celebrate their adoption anniversary or “Adoption Day” by making special memories – my favorite “Adoption Day” present was tickets to see *N SYNC with my friends in Madison for my 10th anniversary!

 

Me with my adoptee friends

 

As an adult, I decided to teach English in South Korea and pursued my birth family search while I was living there. I was fortunate to have the help of a Korean social worker and one of my adult English students. I knew that the factors surrounding my adoption would make it nearly impossible to find her.

The work my social worker and student did to help me find my birth mother, despite having all of the odds against us, inspired me to someday pursue adoption social work. They helped me achieve the lifelong dream I had of thanking my mother for giving me life, and to see the face I longed to see my entire life. As an adoption social worker, I am honored to help support everyone involved in the process of adoption and hear all of your stories.

 

Me with my daughter