Birth Mother Stories: Morgan

My name is Morgan. I got pregnant when I was fifteen. He was conceived at the end of June and I didn’t find out that I was pregnant until August, a month after my sixteenth birthday. My first mistake was waiting so long to tell anybody. My mom found out from my older sister because I was too scared to tell her myself. My sister was actually the one who had helped me find the adoptive parents that I chose. The hardest thing that I ever had to do was meet with the adoptive parents. My first questions to myself were, “what if they don’t like me?” or “what if after I have this baby they never want to talk to me again?”  You might think “what if I don’t find a family that I like”, and to be honest that’s what I thought too. You can’t think negative! That is the worst thing you could do. From the moment I read David and Danielle’s(adoptive mother and father) bio I knew they were who I wanted to raise my baby, not because I didn’t want to raise him but because I wouldn’t be able to give the precious human the life that he deserved.

This leads to the other most important part to me. I do have an open adoption. David and Danielle give me updates about two times a week(most of the time). This baby boy was born May 30, at 5:00 a.m. exactly and I will never forget that date until the day I die. Knowing that I gave the best gift in the entire world to best, most kind-hearted, sweet, human beings to have ever walked this earth. I actually met David and Danielle the day before I had my baby. I was in labor while I met with them! The first question that I asked is if Danielle wanted to be in the delivery room with me. Of course she said yes. It was a good bonding time for the both of us to be together at that moment, and she held my hand through all of it. She did the skin to skin because that would just be another attachment that would be hard to let go of.

I am not going to lie to any of you reading this. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. All I think when I get these feelings are “He is with the people that I trust the most right now.” The other thing that I have that I look at when I get upset is a scrapbook. I actually have two scrapbooks, one for the pictures of updates they give me and the pictures of his month check-ins, how much he weighs. The other one I have is one for all of the times that we meet so I can watch him change and grow as I flip through the pages. These are a big help.

It gets better I promise. I just did some of my senior pictures and I met up with them! It was my seventeenth birthday. The best birthday I could ever have was spent with the little boy that was growing in me for 9 months. I held him, I talked to him, I kissed him and it all felt normal to me. It was never awkward, it was amazing that I still feel like his mother. When I handed him back to Danielle he looked at me for 5 almost minutes and this may be silly, but it felt like he still had a connection with me and almost knew who I was. He is now 4 months and 6 days old and he is the most handsome little man I have ever laid my eyes on.

David and Danielle got me a Birth Mothers Day gift, which was a picture of the sweet baby framed, a card and a few other things and I keep that picture and the cards that they had gotten me by my bedside so I can wake up and always see a picture of why I’m still going strong with my decision. If you do this you will be giving someone the most precious gift that you can give to someone that can’t have their own little miracle. To this day I still talk to the family, get updates and we even talk about how we are. This family has my heart and they will always have my heart as long as I’m still here!

-Sincerely Morgan