"I loved working with AOW" -Karynna's Story
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When did you go through the adoption process?
2006.
When you found out you were pregnant how did you feel?
Scared.
What made you decide to choose adoption?
Well I was 16. I was not ready for a family. It was not my intention to get pregnant, but it happened, and I don’t believe in abortion. I weighed out a lot of pros and cons for keeping him or placing him for adoption. When there were more pros to adoption is when I ultimately chose to do adoption.
In the process of placing your child for adoption who would you say was the most helpful person?
There was a couple of them. I worked with Claire Bergman. She helped me quite a bit. She would come up, take me to doctor’s appointments, she was a big support. If I needed someone to talk to, she’d be willing to talk. The other person would be my mother. She supported me through everything like if I was having a bad day or struggling emotionally. I was extremely grateful for both of them. My grandmother was supportive too.
Were there people who didn’t support you and who were they?
Some members of my family were not supportive. It was kind of hard and it hurt me. I was already going through a difficult time and it felt like even more negativity.
What did you do to deal with the people that weren’t supporting you?
I cut them out of my life. They are my family, so eventually I started talking to them again. My mom was the one who helped me the most with that negativity. She helped me to look at the positives instead of the negatives.
How has your perception of adoption changed before going through the adoption process?
I have always thought adoption is an amazing process. There are people who can’t have children and birth moms help couples like that form a family. Actually going through it I learned more about what the adoption process is like.
How did you choose the adoptive parents?
I met with two families. Something about my meeting with the first family felt off and I didn’t feel a connection with them. When I met with the adoptive parents I chose, the conversation was warm, inviting, bubbly, non-stop and it just felt right. After going through the process of picking a family I felt extremely grateful for where my son was going. I knew he was going to be loved and my son would be the stepping-stone for them to become a family. It makes me happy to know that I helped them become that family. The last month of my pregnancy was hard and uncomfortable. The adoptive parents sent me a care package and card which was really nice of them. They knew that the last month of a pregnancy could be rough. I still have the card.
What was it like going to school during your pregnancy?
I had my friends that I would hang out with. I became extremely close to them. They helped me through the pregnancy. Other than that I pretty much kept to myself.
What has been your biggest reward or surprise in being a birth mother?
The thing that I always think about is them becoming a family. I am extremely grateful that I could be a part of that process and help them become the parents that they always wanted to be.
What do you want all birth mothers to know?
If you are unsure of what you want in life or if you’re unsure of whether you want to go through the adoption process an adoption agency can support you. You can contact them and weigh out your options. There are open adoptions and you can still be a part of your child’s life and watch them grow up.
Did you choose open or closed adoption?
I chose closed but I told the adoptive family that if he ever starts asking questions about me or wants to know more about me then I’d like to build a relationship with him. It’s their choice and they can do whatever they want. But I would love to connect with him at some point, even if it is years from now.
What do you want the world to know about adoption?
For me adoption opened my eyes to more than just somebody adopting a child. It helped me emotionally and it made me a stronger person. With adoption your child has a chance at life.
What would you say are three words to describe your experience with adoption?
Open-minded. I had a really close relationship with Claire. When I was pregnant, I struggled for a little bit after I had him and I was still talking to Claire. She was extremely open-minded about everything. She seemed like she wanted to help, and she helped me a lot.
Giving. I say this because Claire took me shopping. At the time I couldn’t afford maternity clothes and Claire helped me buy some. It was really nice.
Caring. I thought I went into labor before I did, and I was in the birthing center of the hospital. Claire came which I thought was amazing and it showed me that she actually cared for my wellbeing. She patiently waited to see if I would go into labor or not.
Is there anything else that you want to share?
I just want to say how grateful I am for Adoptions of Wisconsin, not only for how they helped me while I was placing my son for adoption, but also for how they treated me as a birth mother. My friendship with Claire blossomed throughout the pregnancy and the overall experience was truly amazing. I loved working with Claire, I loved being able to talk to her and I still like keeping up with her over social media and seeing her updates. I loved working with AOW, I loved the process, and I feel blessed because they made my experience so much easier.
