Embryo Adoption: What it is, How it Works, and First-Hand Experience

Embryo adoption is popular with families who are experiencing infertility, but who still want to go through the experience of pregnancy and giving birth. It is also a way for parents whose families are complete to find a home for their unused embryos. There is an estimated surplus of about 1,000,000 unused frozen embryos* in America right now.

Although often referred to as “embryo adoption,” in many states, including Wisconsin, “embryo donation” is more accurate. Wisconsin’s adoption laws do not apply to embryos. However, some licensed adoption agencies also have programs for families seeking unused embryos. Many people prefer the adoption agency model that treats the embryos as children and can provide more structure and safety for the participants.

To begin the process, you will fill out an application with an embryo adoption agency. After you are approved, you can begin the home study process with a social worker in order to prove that you have a stable relationship and have the means to adequately provide for a child. If you are a Wisconsin family, Adoptions of Wisconsin is fully equipped to perform your home study and ready to guide you through this portion of the process. The potential mother must also be medically cleared and likely to be able to carry a child to term.  

Like infant adoption, one of the issues considered in matching donating parents with recipient parents is what level of openness the parties desire. They can choose anonymous donation, a more open relationship with shared contact information, or even future contact.

Ownership of the embryos is legally transferred through an embryo donation agreement signed by both the donors and the recipients, with each side represented by an attorney. Unlike infant adoption, there is no need to go to court or to have any judicial involvement.

After the mother is medically cleared and the clinic receives confirmation that the embryo donation agreement has been signed, the adopting parents can proceed with the embryo transfer to the mother’s uterus. Most clinics prefer to transfer one embryo at a time. The reported success rate of pregnancy for embryo adoptions is 50%, with a 40% national birth rate**. If the first transfer does not work and the parents have more embryos, they can make additional transfers. There are, of course, no guarantees as to the health of the embryos.

The recipient parents’ names go on the child’s birth certificate as they would for any other birth. After a successful delivery, many parents decide to continue to grow their family with their remaining embryos.

The embryo adoption process typically costs about $7,500-$19,500* which generally includes home study fees, medical screenings, and embryo transfer.

*https://www.parents.com/parenting/adoption/what-is-embryo-adoption/

**https://www.embryodonation.org/adoption/. 

Adoptions of Wisconsin has been privileged to provide home studies for a number of families working with embryo adoption. We asked one of those families some questions about their experience. Here is what they had to say:

How did you find out about embryo adoption? How did you decide that you wanted to pursue this process as a means of growing your family as opposed to others?

We found out about embryo adoption online. We have a past of trying various fertility treatments including IVF. As we were unsuccessful with those, we decided to try domestic adoption. We were on an active family list for about a year and decided to reevaluate our options (continue with domestic adoption, try IVF again, or embryo adoption).  We decided to give embryo adoption a try since we had no explained infertility diagnosis.

How did you decide on the embryo adoption/donor agency?

We chose Nightlight’s Snowflake program because they treat embryo adoption like a traditional adoption. We wanted our children to have the option of knowing their genetic family and siblings.

How long did the process take from start to finish? Would you describe it as difficult?

We got through the process very quickly. From the initial consultation to being matched with a donating family is about one month. We already had a completed home study which made the process go a lot quicker. The timeline also depends on how long it takes for a couple to complete paperwork and education requirements. 

How did the cost compare to traditional adoption costs?

It is our perception that traditional adoption is more expensive. We paid $9,000 to Nightlight for all of their services. Then paid $6,000 to our fertility clinic for the embryo transfer. The cost for an embryo transfer can vary a lot by clinic. Especially if insurance will cover parts of the medical costs. Here in Wisconsin, it is common to have to pay out of pocket for these fertility services.  Obviously once pregnant, health insurance covers medical costs as usual for a pregnancy.

What was the matching process like, and how did you choose your donor?

The Snowflake program matches an adopting family with a donating family. We both have profiles and someone at Nightlight tries to find the best fit. One major factor is how many embryos they are donating and the family size desired by the adopting family.  Embryo transfers have a 40% success rate. We would love to have 3-4 children, so we were matched to a couple that was donating 8 embryos. 

Once they find a potential match, the donating family is sent the adopting family’s profile. If they agree to the match, their profile is sent to the adopting family to view. If it is a yes by both sides, embryo information is sent to the fertility clinic to ensure that they will accept the embryos for transfer. If all three parties give a yes, it is a successful match.

Do you have an open or closed relationship with the donor family? How did you decide that?

We have an open relationship with our donor family. While we are still developing that relationship, we are connected on social media, send pictures and email often. Since our daughter is a full genetic sibling to their children, it was important to us that she has the opportunity to grow that relationship with them. 

With Nightlight, you are unable to have a closed adoption. The degree of openness varies and depends on the adopting and donating families’ wishes. This is one of the matching criteria.  

What would you want other families that are in similar situations to yours to know?

Parenthood is challenging but very rewarding. The pathway may not be what you expect. While embryo adoption may not be for everyone, it certainly has worked out for us. We couldn’t be happier with our daughter. She was meant to be ours.

Adoptions of Wisconsin supports family formation in whatever form it may take. For information on how we can help you with your embryo adoption home study, please contact us at info@adoptionsofwisconsin.com.

Home studies: What you can expect and what we expect of you

Once you arrive at the home study portion of your adoption journey, there are a few things you can expect.

Before we can schedule your home screening visits, we need all documentation fully completed. You can send your required documents to us via USPS, email, or as a Google Drive document. You may also submit completed documents by placing them in our drop-box outside our office. Whenever possible, please complete forms electronically. Please do not submit pictures of applications or other documents. 

Home studies expire annually and foster home licenses expire biannually. We want to ensure that your required screenings and documentation stay current. While we do our best to send reminders and guide you throughout the process, it is ultimately your responsibility to keep track of expiration dates. One month prior to your expiration, we will send you an update packet. Timeframes for completed screenings vary greatly, so it is up to you to return documents and respond to inquiries in a timely manner to ensure the update screening visit takes place before your expiration date.

When working with outside agencies, it is also your responsibility to know their individual requirements as every agency has slightly different requirements. 

Payments for screenings are due in full on or before your first scheduled visit with the social worker. Reports will not be submitted until balances are paid in full.

For 2 parent, step-parent, and relative adoptions, we ask that you wait until after your screening is complete before you schedule any court dates. Once a hearing is scheduled, please be sure to inform us.

If you choose to pursue another means to build your family or decide adoption is not right for you, please let us know.

We are here to help you and want your adoption process to go as smoothly as possible, but we need your help too! Thank you for your cooperation, we look forward to working with you.

What can I do with my child after placement before the adoption is finalized?

After placement of your child into your home, many families have questions about what they can and can’t do with their child before their adoption is finalized. Here are the answers to some of the most common questions we receive regarding post-placement/pre-finalization etiquette.

Can we travel with our child? Where can we go and who do we notify?

Yes, you can travel with your child after placement, but you must remain in compliance with the procedure determined by your social worker. It is perfectly okay to travel with your child anywhere (though you won’t be able to get your child a passport until their adoption is finalized) as long as you notify your social worker ahead of time and provide the dates you will be traveling and where you are headed— including each stop you make along the way. It is preferred that you share this information via email so that it can be retained for records and future reference so that your social worker can easily know where you and your child are and how to contact you.

Can we post pictures or videos of our child on social media?

If you have a foster care license through the state, you are not allowed to post any pictures or videos of your child to any social media platform prior to the finalization of their adoption. If you obtain your foster care license through AOW, you are allowed to post pictures or videos of your child on social media, so long as you have approval from the birth parents.

Who is allowed to visit or see our child?

This decision is entirely up to your own discretion. Anyone you would like can visit or see your child, but no one else can care for your child without proper screening and the required documentation is provided to your social worker.

Who can take care of our child when we are working or away from home? What form of childcare is recommended and what does our social worker need in order to approve it?

The short answer is that you can choose whichever form of childcare you prefer, whether that be a nanny, family member, or a daycare facility (except in-home daycare). Each of these requires a different process and varying documentation for the childcare provider to be approved by your social worker—though they are each comparably easy to get approved.

Here are the requirements:

Daycare facility: Prior to sending your child to a daycare, your social worker needs a copy of the daycare facility license. This can easily be emailed or mailed to your social worker directly by the daycare facility. Please note that your child is not allowed to be cared for at an in-home daycare prior to finalization.

Nanny: A nanny is considered a primary caretaker for your child if they care for the child regularly and for long periods of time. Once you find a nanny that suits your childcare needs, a background check must be completed. Your nanny will need to fill out a release of information to be sent to your social worker so that a background check can be completed for them.

Short-term babysitter: If you hire a babysitter to come on occasion for a few hours at a time, nothing is required to be approved by your social worker. Check with your social worker if you have questions about whether your caretaker is considered a nanny or a babysitter.

Family member: If you choose to have a family member care for your child in your home, your social worker does not need anything from you. However, if a family member cares for your child in their home or anywhere else, a walkthrough of their home must be completed by your social worker. This must be done prior to the care of your child outside of your own home. In order to make this step easier, a post-placement visit with your social worker could take place at the designated family member’s residence and the walkthrough can be completed at the same time.

It’s normal to have questions about what you can and cannot do with your child before their adoption is finalized and these are good things to keep in mind in order to remain in compliance. We appreciate your cooperation so that together we can keep your child safe and ensure that the adoption process goes as smoothly as possible!

Health Insurance for Children Placed for Adoption

Adoptions of Wisconsin knows how important access to health care and health insurance coverage is for children and families.

Adoptive parents typically take responsibility for the support of their child before the adoption becomes final. This can lead to questions about how to enroll a child who is not yet adopted on the potential adoptive parents’ health plan.

Fortunately, federal law provides that group health plans are required to provide coverage for children “placed for adoption” just like they would for any other dependent child of the family, “irrespective of whether the adoption has become final” (U.S.C. § 1169(c)). This means that once a child has been placed with their adoptive family, they are eligible for their family’s dependent health insurance coverage. Following the termination of parental rights of the birth parents, the child can be added to the adoptive family’s insurance coverage, even if the adoption is not yet finalized in court. This allows adoptive parents the security to fully support their child’s health as soon as possible.

Just remember to contact your insurer about enrolling your child as soon as you can. You may need to explain to your insurance company that your child is “placed for adoption.”

Keep in mind that health insurance plans are covered under various laws, which may also vary by state. Adoptions of Wisconsin does not provide legal advice or guidance. Please contact your insurance professional for more information.

Adoption Tax Credit 2021

In the document Revenue Procedure 2020-2045, the IRS listed the Adoption Tax Credit adjusted numbers for 2021. The maximum amount allowed in 2021 is set at $14,660, which is raised from $14,300 in 2020. The tax credit starts to phase out for families with modified adjusted gross income greater than $216,660 and is completely phased out for families with a modified adjusted gross income of $256,660 or more. When filing your taxes in 2021, you will be working with the income that you earned in 2020. Because of this, you must use the 2020 Adoption Tax Credit number of $14,300.

The Adoption Tax Credit applies to domestic, international and foster care adoptions. The Adoption Tax Credit does not apply to surrogate parenting or stepparent adoption. The tax credit is nonrefundable, but unused value can be carried forward and claimed on future tax returns for up to five years. The amount of the credit that is claimable by the adoptive parents is the amount that has been spent on adoption related expenses, up to the limit for that year. An exception to this is in adoption of a special needs child. In that case, the entire credit may be taken, regardless of the amount of expenses incurred.

For domestic adoptions that are not yet finalized, you may claim qualifying expenses for the credit in the year following the year the expense is paid. This means that you can claim the adoption tax credit for expenses paid even if a domestic adoption is never finalized. Expenses paid in the year an adoption is finalized can be claimed on that year’s tax return. Expenses paid after an adoption is finalized can be claimed for year the payment is made.

Travel expenses, meals, lodging, court costs, attorney fees, and other expenses directly related to the purpose of adoption are included as applicable to the adoption tax credit. The credit is scalable with more children. It doubles with two children, triples with three, etc. The Adoption Tax Credit is a credit, not a deduction. That means that if you spend $14,000 on adoption and are assessed $15,000 in federal tax, you would end up owing $1,000 in tax. This is different from a reduction in taxable income, such as mortgage deductions.

Some states have additional adoption tax benefits that apply in conjunction with the federal Adoption Tax Credit. Wisconsin, for example, provides for an additional tax deduction (not a credit) for parents of newly adopted children.

For more information on the Adoption Tax Credit, the National Council for Adoption is a good resource. Adoptions of Wisconsin does not provide tax advice or guidance. Please contact your tax advisor for information on the Adoption Tax Credit.

DNA Test Kits and Adoption

With the recent rise in prevalence and popularity of DNA testing companies, many adoptive parents and adoptees are wondering if DNA testing is something that they should explore. The related risks, rewards, reasons and ethics should be considered before you decide to use them. Once you undergo DNA testing, it cannot be undone.

Why does anyone choose a DNA test for themselves or their child? DNA test results can provide ancestral information, statistical health information based on DNA markers, and can be used to find biological relatives or verify biological parentage. Direct to consumer DNA testing is an appealing tool to find out more about one’s genetic makeup. On the other hand, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Information on birth parents that was once reasonably expected to remain confidential forever is now becoming increasingly discoverable. In this new age of seemingly endless available information, you should consider whether it is wise to contact a birth parent or other birth relative if their identity is discovered.

There are many heart-warming stories of people who have connected with birth families and previously-unknown relatives. DNA testing can find a missing branch of the family tree. However, there are also situations where such connections have not been welcome. Just because you are biologically related to a person does not mean that you will have much in common. Your genetics do not determine everything about you.

Some pros and cons to consider:

• DNA testing may reveal important medical or genetic information.

• Once you do DNA testing, it cannot be undone and you lose control of the information, to a large extent.

• DNA testing may be the only way for you to connect with family members.

• The birth family may not want contact.

• If the birth parents made an adoption plan with the expectation of privacy, that expectation may be entitled to respect.

• The birth family may not have disclosed fully, and you may find out things that you or they wish weren’t known.

• DNA testing may expose you or your relatives to potential identification in a criminal law situation.

Even in an open adoption, a child’s birth parents may not have communicated everything or anything about the adoption to their families. By using a commercial DNA testing service, you may inadvertently release information that the birth parents intended to keep confidential. It’s important to consider the impact that such disclosure can have on others, even those who have not submitted their DNA to testing, in addition to yourselves or your children.

The question of whether a parent should have their child tested is controversial. Testing can reveal important or meaningful information, but the act of testing takes the decision out of the child’s hands forever.

The View From Court With AOW : The High Point of the Judge’s Day

Attorney Lynn Bodi and Executive Director Claire Schulz Bergman got to appear in court with a birth mother in another county, recently. It was one of the nicest hearings we’ve been to. This birth mother had made an adoption plan for her son. She was very clear in what she wanted for him. The hearing was lovely and the birth mother’s mother was also there to support her. At the hearing, the judge thanked everyone in the room for being the high point of his day.

We’re always interested in what people think of the court proceedings. After the hearing, Lynn had the opportunity to ask the birth mother a few questions about the experience:

Q) What did you find the most surprising about court?

A) There was really nothing that surprising. I felt like I was really well prepared.

Q) Was any part of court scary for you?

A) Just talking in public. [Her mom then pointed out that she’s a little shy.] But I knew what you were going to ask me. All of the information made sense.

Entering a courtroom can often seem daunting. At Adoptions of Wisconsin, Inc., we take pride in helping everyone involved in an adoption feel comfortable and well prepared.

How To Pay For Adoption

Congratulations! You’ve been matched. Odds are that, as waiting adoptive parents, you're looking for ways to pay for adoption, or you have already paid or incurred agency fees. Now you will have more expenses, which may include birth parent expenses, agency fees, attorney fees and travel expenses. Even though this is the happiest and most significant event in your life, adoptive parents have the same responsibility as other parents to be good stewards of their families’ finances.

Many adoptive parents spend years saving for their dream. Others use their tax refunds or borrow from their loved ones. Earlier this tax season, we reminded everyone about the Adoption Tax Credit, a dollar for dollar federal credit worth up to $13,570 for 2017. [link]

Some adoptive parents have organized bake sales, community potlucks, garage sales, and started fundraisers in their communities through platforms such as GoFundMe which can be easily shared through social media. If you’re feeling extra creative, you could sell handmade items or design t-shirts to sell that also double as advertisement for your adoption fundraiser!

In addition, Adoption of Wisconsin’s owner, Attorney Lynn Bodi, recently shared some other resources with us.

Lynn is proud to be a 20-year Fellow of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA). In honor of its 25th anniversary, the AAAA created the Family Formation Charitable Trust to help build families through adoption and assisted reproductive technology. More information and applications for grants can be found at: http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/aaaa/charitable-trust.

Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number (ATIN)

If you are in the process of adopting a child, you may need to consider applying for an Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number, or ATIN. This is especially important at tax time. According to the Internal Revenue Service website:

“You should apply for an ATIN only if you are in the process of adopting a child and you meet all of the following qualifications:

• The child is legally placed in your home for legal adoption by an authorized placement agency.

• The adoption is a domestic adoption OR the adoption is a foreign adoption and the child/children have a Permanent Resident Alien Card or Certificate of Citizenship.

• You cannot obtain the child's existing SSN even though you have made a reasonable attempt to obtain it from the birth parents, the placement agency, and other persons.

• You cannot obtain an SSN for the child from the SSA for any reason. (For example, the adoption is not final).

• You are eligible to claim the child as a dependent on your tax return.”

The IRS website has even more information available at the ATIN Questions and Answers page: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/adoption-taxpayer-identification-number.

Please consult with your tax advisor.  Adoptions of Wisconsin loves to help with adoptions, but we are not tax experts and will not provide tax advice. Our attorney, Lynn Bodi, also does not provide tax advice, even though she really enjoyed her tax classes in law school, but that was a long time ago.

Adoption Agencies and Facilitators in Wisconsin

Under Wisconsin law, it is illegal (Class H Felony) for someone to be paid to solicit, negotiate or arrange the placement of a child for adoption, unless they are a Wisconsin-licensed child welfare agency (or the Wisconsin Department of Children and Families, or comparable county department). Wis. Stat. § 948.24.

Adoptions of Wisconsin, Inc., is a Wisconsin-licensed child welfare agency. However, many entities that advertise online – often from other states – are not licensed by the State of Wisconsin. These are often referred to as “facilitators.” That means that the adoptions they arrange may not be compliant with Wisconsin law. In most such cases, you will still need to retain a Wisconsin-licensed agency and attorney to perform the work required to be done in connection with the adoption.

As co-chair of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys committee on facilitators, Attorney Lynn Bodi, owner of Adoptions of Wisconsin, prepared these FAQs regarding facilitators for the Academy.

Adoption is a beautiful way to grow your family. One of your most important decisions when beginning the adoption process is selecting the resources you will use to locate a child who is available for adoption or to connect with birth parents who will place their baby with you. The Internet is overflowing with banners of entities promising you a quick and easy road to parenthood through adoption. The Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) recommends that families retain an experienced adoption attorney in your state to help you evaluate the resources to ensure that you experience the process with legal, financial, and emotional security.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is the difference between an adoption agency and a facilitator?

Resources for connecting or matching adoptive parents and birth parents come in all shapes and sizes. Some are state-licensed adoption agencies that provide a broad range of adoption-related services, such as matching, homestudies, counseling, placement, and post-placement supervision and reporting. These agencies must maintain certain minimum standards of expertise and training set by their state of licensure to qualify to obtain and maintain a license, as well as, maintain insurance and professional standards.

Another type of matching resource is a “facilitator,” which is a person or organization whose role is solely to make introductions between birth parents and adoptive parents in exchange for a large, non-refundable fee paid in advance. Yet, facilitators are not held to any minimum threshold of expertise, professional training, or ethical standards. Often the facilitator staff members are customer service representatives who field calls and match families from different states with little knowledge of the intricacies of each state’s legal requirements. Facilitators are illegal in some states and, in the few where they are licensed; the license is one merely to do business with no professional standards or training to maintain. Some facilitators use the word “agency” in their business name to appear to be a licensed adoption agency, but use of the words “agency” or “license” in no way ensures that you are working with trained professionals who have the skill to coordinate safe adoption plans.

Why do adoptions arranged by facilitators frequently fall apart?

Adoptions arranged by facilitators, can and often do, fail for many different reasons. Some families who reside in states where payment to facilitators is illegal unwittingly engage and pay facilitators to match them with birth parents. Yet, prospective adoptive families often hire facilitators before consulting a knowledgeable adoption attorney who can help them avoid illegal payments that will impact the entire process and even the ability to finalize the adoption without running into legal challenges. These prospective parents are left distressed and financially drained when they learn that an adoption with the birth family cannot be finalized due to such an illegal payment. An adoption may be legally unfeasible due to the legal requirements of the birth parents’ or prospective adoptive parents’ states of residence, Academy attorneys are frequently called upon by prospective adoptive parents or birth parents to salvage adoptions that are legally unfeasible because a facilitator or matching agency ignored critical state laws. These situations become financially prohibitive for the prospective adoptive parents and emotionally difficult for them and the birth parents, while the facilitator keeps its fee whether or not the match leads to an adoption.

Even in the states where facilitators are allowed to work, many of the matches they arrange do not result in adoption. Facilitators do not have the training, skill, or experience to ensure a safe and legal outcome. Many birth parents are left unprepared to part with their babies as they have not had access to counseling until too late in their pregnancies. Prospective adoptive parents require assistance from experienced adoption attorneys or licensed adoption agencies to have the match result in adoption.

What adoption resources will help us keep our adoption safe and legal?

Locating a child is just one piece of a larger puzzle that is often complex and emotional, partially because the laws concerning adoption differ dramatically from state to state. Completing an adoption demands that the attorneys you retain have knowledge of the laws of your state, the state of the adoptive child’s biological parents, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, and various federal laws. Both adoptive parents and birth parents should have attorneys licensed in their respective states of residence to ensure their initial connection conforms to each state’s laws and all federal laws, and to review legal options. You and the birth parents deserve to be fully informed so that all parties make decisions that will protect the integrity of the adoption. For biological parents, face to face counseling with a licensed social worker or counselor experienced in the field is also recommended to ensure they consider the short and long-term implications of their decisions.

Your road to parenthood through adoption will be fully informed, safe, and legally secure by consulting an experienced adoption attorney in your state of residence before selecting or paying any facilitator, attorney, or agency for matching or assisting you to connect with birth parents.

If we don’t work with a facilitator, will we ever find a child?

There are unplanned pregnancies occurring in this country every day. Birth parents make adoption plans for their children every day. A licensed adoption agency or adoption attorney can help guide you through the process of finding and adopting your child. Licensed agencies can be found through your state licensing department.

To read more FAQs from The American Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, click here

To read the original FAQ that Attorney Bodi wrote for the Academy , click here