"Adoption is beautiful" -Becca's Story
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When did you place your child for adoption?
2019
How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
Overwhelmed. I was not sure if I could take care of the baby because at the time I was going through a lot.
Why did you choose adoption? What was your process behind making that decision?
I chose adoption because I wanted my son to have a good life and get the care that he needed which I could not give him. You can give a child all the love in the world but that just is not enough.
Who was the most helpful and supportive person in the process of placing your child for adoption?
Hollie, my social worker at Adoptions of Wisconsin. She was absolutely amazing. The adoptive mother Delaney* was amazing too. She was there for me whenever she could be. She was there for me even at my doctor’s appointments. I couldn’t pick better parents for my son than Delaney and Steve*.
When did you know that Delaney and Steve were the people you wanted to parent your child?
I first connected with them about two weeks after I met with Hollie. About a week prior I connected with another couple and they were really cool but when I met with Delaney and Steve, I instantly knew they were the ones.
What was it like to have your first experience meeting them?
It was nerve-wracking. I wasn’t sure at that point if adoption was exactly what I wanted to do. After meeting them and talking with them I realized that they were definitely going to be a good fit for my child. When I first met them it was instantaneous, I just knew they were the right fit. And even after, when Delaney and Steve went home, Steve mentioned something to Delaney along the lines of “This was meant to be. I feel like I have known her for years.” My experience meeting them was amazing and it made my decision a little bit easier even though it was still really hard. But I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing.
How would you describe the way that your perception of adoption changed after going through the adoption process?
Before I went through the adoption process myself, I had heard about adoption, but I always thought they were closed adoptions where I would not be able to still be a part of my son’s life. But when I sat down and talked to Hollie, I learned more information and I realized that there were other options. After talking to her I was more at ease with everything. When I learned about open adoption I remember feeling like wow, you guys are really trying to help both me and the adoptive parents since I would still be able to see my son.
What would you say has been your biggest reward or surprise in being a birth mother?
I found out more about myself. I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. It gave me a new perspective on myself.
What do you want all birth mothers to know?
It gets easier with time and you are making the right decision. You are putting your child above all of your feelings.
What do you want the world to know about adoption?
It’s a beautiful thing. It really is. Yes, we are making a hard decision, but we are giving a family a chance to be parents. I mean there are so many people out there who aren’t able to have children, and this is their only way of doing that. It is beautiful.
What would you say are three words to describe your experience with adoption?
Amazing, nerve-wracking, but also kind of peaceful. I mean you guys do an amazing job. I can’t thank you enough for just being there for me.
What was the most nerve-wracking part?
The unknown and especially meeting prospective adoptive parents. You are trying to give your child to them, but you don’t know what their personalities will be like or if they will be a good fit.
Is there anything else that you would like to add?
The one thing I have always wanted to do is just get my story out there. Even if it just helps one birth mother who is going through this, and it helps her make the right decision, then that makes me happy. You know it is going to be hard no matter what but hearing stories from other women who have gone through this helps.
* Adoptive parents names have been changed.
