When you’re making an adoption plan, you get to decide what type of relationship you’ll have with your child and their adoptive family.
Choosing between open and closed adoption is a deeply personal decision. Some birth parents prefer to receive updates right away, while others need space and time to heal. Thinking through the benefits and drawbacks of both options can help you make an informed choice.
In this article, we’ll walk you through the differences between open vs. closed adoption. If you have questions, feel free to contact us online or call or text 608-821-8221. One of our social workers can provide you with more information and offer personalized guidance.
The Difference Between Open and Closed Adoption
In an open adoption, you and the adoptive family agree to keep some level of contact. This allows you to be a part of your child’s life in a way that’s comfortable for everyone. You can keep in touch through:
Letters
Social media
Texts
Phone calls
Video calls
In-person visits
And more
Many birth parents who choose open adoption find comfort in seeing their child grow and being available to answer questions. Often, children in open adoptions have a stronger understanding of their family background and cultural heritage.
In a closed adoption, there is no contact between you, your child or the adoptive family. Until recently, many people believed that adoption should be kept private. Closed adoptions were common, and many birth parents struggled with unresolved feelings of grief and loss.
Today, open adoptions are more common because they benefit everyone involved. However, some birth parents still prefer closed adoptions to create a clear separation and focus on healing. When you choose adoption, you are empowered to make the best decision for your future — whether that is a closed or open adoption.
Pros and Cons of Open Adoption vs. Closed Adoption
Understanding the pros and cons of open vs. closed adoption can help you picture the kind of future you want for yourself and your child. Weighing each option can bring you closer to a decision that aligns with your values.
Pros of Open Adoption
Research suggests that open adoption offers numerous benefits for birth parents, adopted children and adoptive families. Because of these positive outcomes, many agencies prefer to facilitate adoptions with some degree of openness.
Here are five advantages of open adoption:
Lets you stay connected with your child and their adoptive family
Gives you peace of mind knowing your child is doing well
Allows you to share essential medical history
Provides your child with a clearer sense of identity
Offers your child additional love and support through an expanded family
Cons of Open Adoption
While open adoption has its benefits, there can be some potential drawbacks:
May raise potential privacy concerns
Can be emotionally complex
Can be challenging to balance expectations
Pros of Closed Adoption
Closed adoptions can give you and your baby a fresh start. This might seem like a good option if you’re struggling with instability at home or an unsupportive partner. But before you decide what type of adoption you want, it’s important to consider the short- and long-term impact.
Here are three immediate benefits of closed adoption:
Creates emotional space
Reduces ambiguity about future relationships
Allows the adoptive family to focus fully on parenting
Cons of Closed Adoption
While a closed adoption can offer space and clarity, you may later experience feelings of loss or struggle with unanswered questions. This type of adoption doesn’t leave room for you to change your mind if your circumstances change.
Here are the potential disadvantages of closed adoptions:
Can make it challenging to process grief
Prevents contact with your child or their adoptive family
Limits understanding of genetic health risks
Can lead to unanswered identity questions
May cause your child to experience feelings of rejection
How to Choose Between Open vs. Closed Adoption
Choosing between open and closed adoption depends on your emotional needs and what feels right for you and your child. Here are two tips to help you think through your decision:
1. Determine How Much Contact You’d Like in the Future
What type of relationship do you envision for yourself, your child and their adoptive family? Many birth parents appreciate having the opportunity for contact in open adoption. However, if you feel that closed adoption better aligns with your needs, know that we respect and support whatever decision feels best for you.
2. Consider Opting for a Semi-Open Adoption
If you’re unsure about full openness but want some level of connection, you might consider a semi-open adoption. In this type of adoption, your social worker will facilitate communication between you and the adoptive family. Semi-open adoptions let you receive updates or pass along messages without direct contact.
Taking the Next Step
Whatever your choice, we’re here to support you. If you want to learn more about the different types of adoption or move forward with the process in Wisconsin, please reach out through our online form or call or text us at 608-821-8221.
