Can I work with an agency if I'm not sure about adoption?

A birth parent asks: “Can I work with an adoption agency if I’m not sure adoption is for me?”

imageYes. We, at Adoptions of Wisconsin (AOW), welcome you to reach out to us if you are considering adoption. Part of our role as adoption workers is to provide you with information so you are empowered to make the choice that is right for you.

Being honest with yourself, AOW staff and prospective adoptive families is important when considering adoption. It is integral for building trusting relationships and creating a plan that is based on your interests and the things that are important to you.

It is ok to engage in a counseling relationship with an adoption worker even if you are not fully committed to the adoption decision. We are here to help you work through your feelings about adoption and help you decide if placing your child is right for you; we will not pressure you. Making an adoption plan for your child is your decision to make.

It is also ok to meet with prospective adoptive families without being fully committed to placing your baby with them. Sometimes meeting a prospective adoptive family can help you understand if adoption is right for you and your baby. It is important to recognize that prospective adoptive families need to know where you are in the decision process so that they form fact based expectations about whether they will become parents to your child.

If you choose to move forward with an adoption plan, honesty is vitally important. You have the right to expect honesty and respect from your adoption worker and the prospective adoptive family you are considering. If you feel like you are not connecting with your adoption worker or the potential adoptive family that you chose, you have the right to be honest about that and ask for a new worker or look into different families.

Honesty is also important when considering adoptive parents for your child and having a successful open adoption. Being vague or dishonest about your lifestyle, health or birth father information can cause mistrust in birth parent and adoption parent relationships as well as the relationship with your worker. When choosing adoptive parents for your child, it is important that the parents you choose know about you, respect you, respect your lifestyle and respect what brought you to consider adoption.

Successful open adoption relationships are built on trust, you have to trust the parents you are placing your baby with and they have to trust you. The adoption decision has to feel right to you. Being honest about how you’re feeling during the process is vital to making a well-informed decision that you will feel confident about in the future.